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LECHEROUS LEPRECHAUN
I felt sorry for Lucky the Leprechaun because those shithead kids wouldn’t share any Lucky Charms. How hard would it have been to hook the little guy up with a small bowl of that artificial flavored...
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A HA! AHI SALAD
Congratulations! You have graduated to a higher plane of salad making. Now you refuse to settle for iceberg lettuce smothered in ranch dressing. There is nothing nutritious nor sexy about that...
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NEVER FAIL KALE BREAKFAST
There are few sure things in this world. You can count on the sun rising, taxman finding you and herpes to come back with a vengeance. But most promises of satisfaction guaranteed have so many...
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CHARRED OCTOPUSSY SALAD
Don’t mess with Octopussy. That girl has Bond and every other man wrapped around her fingers, eight to be exact. But that was before she went through the Bond rotation. Octopussy never recovered...
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PESTO BANGO CHICKEN SINWICH
POOF! Hear that? It’s the sound of a bra disappearing. Straight into thin air. Never seen anything like it. There was this art chick I invited home for food after a gallery party comparing my...
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